A Thousand Miles ~ Vanessa Carlton

Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way, making my way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time, would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight 

It's always times like these
When I think of you and I wonder
If you ever think of me 

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time, would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way, making my way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time, would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you...

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time, would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you
Tonight 

Crush ~ David Archuleta

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
?Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay

Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

English

Okay, it's Friday already. Guess what? The teacher's forgot she told us to made an essay! As usual. She never remember whenever she gave us homework to do with a lot of "consequence" and blablabla...... But if WE forgot to did the homework, I mean everyone in class, SHE remember it. If WE did it, she forgot -,-

Dream

I had a dream last night :)
It's not a big deal, I guess. But this morning, it's all true!! :D
(okay, just ignored this post. Hehe)

...Rainbow away"

      Thursday, the busiest and most tiring day. Ever. Well, at least while I'm in 11th grade. It's always been the most disliked day. Why?


       Biology. I'm not sure why most students don't like the teacher that much. I guess that's because she basically not really "teaching". She just told us to read the books. Find another sources, write it down in our notebooks, and then.. the exam material is from another sources that the students didn't find.
Okay, so today we "learned" about Sistem Reproduksi (I'm not sure what that is in English, haha). She just put the video about how blablablabla. Not in the mood for listening. Hehe. And then, the topic is over. Hmm.... :-/


       Chemistry. We had an exam today. And she was late! I was like.. WHAT THE......!? She took the recess time away. Huh. I hate her for that. Semaunya. Unfortunately, I couldn't concentrate. Why? Beside me, Billy, was singing the whole time and said that he didn't care multiple times. Behind me, Ernanda, was counting, answering, murmuring, about his answer to himself. -,-


        Agama. Exam. After chemistry, and THIS!? Pretty good timing. Stupid chem teach. Anyway, I hadn't study for that. :( And I was like, "Nan, what code are you?" He simply moved his paper and was like,"Copy the letters, FAST!" Okay, I didn't see that coming. But I just copy 5 numbers out of 40. I'm not that bad, aren't I?


        Art. Another exam. We have to sketch someone's painting beautifully. Appreciate it and give it the title. The picture was hard! I'm not really sure how   to "appreciate" it. All I can see was someone's took away a bleeding, broken heart. I didn't know what's the point of checkers and rainbows around it. So my title was "You take my heart just to make it bleed and steal my rainbow away." Hahahahahahaha. Nanda's appreciation was a little bit different, he was like, "A saying could hurts the heart. That's a tongue under it!" He's title was "Heartache". Jenny, every two minutes, she was like, "I'm tired. I don't care anymore." But in the end, she finished it. Hahaha. I think everyone's title were all about a broken heart. Lol

I was hurt, but it's okay..

      It feels like there is someone who stab me right through my heart. I never thought it would be this hurt. But what can I say? I didn't plan it. It just happened.


      I was really thankful that I didn't cry right away. If I did, it would be really embarrassing.
Hey, but that's okay. People get hurt constantly. Not everything in this world go as we planned. Sometimes it's what you want. Sometimes it's not. There is laughter. But there is also tears. There is happiness and sadness. That's what makes this world has a story to tell... :)

English Essay

       Few days ago, our English teacher was absent. She told us to made an essay about clean environment OR semester test for about 1500 words. It MIGHT be easy for a student who loves to write. And yes, it's very little words for high school students. But most of the students are NEVER. EVER write an essay. For example, me. So it's really hard. I didn't even know how I can reach that number. Come on! I NEVER write an essay. Our school's rarely told us to make one. So don't blame me. It was on Wednesday. And it have to be done by Friday.

       Okay, I finished about 600 and something in Friday. She was like, "The essay is due Monday! Now let's do the TOEIC writing part." I was like, THANK GOD, I still have time to change it and make it better. AND hopefully I could reach 1500.

       Today, is Monday. Heck she didn't even bother to ask. At the end of her class, she was just like, "The essay is for next Wednesday." I was like, "What the heck?"

       I don't really mind if I have to typed it until 11.30 pm last night. But I wasn't. She wanted that the essay have to be our own hand-writing. That's the part that pissed me off. My hands hurts and you just ignored it? Hellooooo...... it's hurt, you know? Oh wait! You DON'T know. The people who hadn't make it feels like they are lucky. But hey, I don't have homework to do on Tuesday night, except art, so, who's lucky now? :p

And thankfully, it's 1528 words! (yeah, I know, no need THAT specific. Lol. But hey! I'm surprised with my own works! I can do it all by myself! Yay! SOME of my classmates, they were using the technology. Copy-paste other people works. But whatever, it's their choices.) :)

Poems

I just found poetry that I wrote back in junior high school. I must say, it's quite depressing. I was so good writing something like that. And....... there also some cheesy love thingy. But not that great. lol
I'll keep them just for me to read and laugh about. hahaha


It's been two years since the last time I wrote poems.
Hmm.... should I write depressing poems again? Or find another boy to inspire the cheesy love thingy stuff?


Anyway, under these.. there are two poems that have least(?) depressing vibe in it..

Written on January 12th, 2009

I want them to HEAR


I want them to UNDERSTAND


I want them to CARED


About what I feel inside


But, there is no person


who wanted to KNOW.

Written on January 11th, 2009

Help me..

     To search what I want to search

       To find what I want to find

         To feel what I want to feel

           Even though I don't know what.

You'll be fine

Have you ever felt like you're alone even though there are a lot of other people in the room?
Wanted to say something but nobody seems to listening?
Tried to screamed but nothing came out?
Needed a comfort hug but people are too busy to cared?


I'm not anti-socializing. 
But something inside often told me to stay away..
It tried to convince me they're not worth the time
And sometimes, I just feel they don't like me, for me


I tried to arrange the words so it could fits
But everytime I tried, it came out differently
It's not the way I wanted
It's not how I really feel


I'm smiling, aren't I?
But you couldn't hear the voice inside
The voice that only myself could understand
The pain that slowly killing me, inside..


And when I broke down at night
Tears run down my face
I pull my blanket to my shoulders
Hug myself tight and say, "You'll be fine."

May  17th, 2011

Home

I want to live in a place that I can call.. home.

Big city, small town, near the beaches, under the mountains, in the middle of the jungle, under the sea, famous place, not-so-famous place,........................
as long as I could proudly say, "I live there!", I don't mind. At all.

Too boring, too flat

     It's been a while since the last time I wrote. Why? Because my life is pretty boring and I don't really know what should I tell others about. There's nothing to talk about. Unfortunately.